We continue our self-portrait series with a self-reflexive collage from French filmmaker Bertrand Bonello.

Made after he directed the biopic Saint Laurent, this 16-minute short film sees the director reflect on his career up until that point and ruminate about what he’d like to do next. Addressed as a letter to his young daughter, Bonello’s film sees him use clips from his work, excerpts from his scripts, music, and new footage to detail his ups-and-downs as a filmmaker. The film was commissioned as the first entry in Centre Pompidou’s “Où en êtes-vous” series, which asks filmmakers — including Jafar Panahi, Joanna Hogg, Kelly Reichardt, Richard Linklater, Jean-Marie Straub, and many more — to reflect on “Where they stand today?”

Où en êtes-vous, Bertrand Bonello? presents a brazenly honest look at the director’s life behind the camera. As Bonello shuffles through clips from his early films, he often details their success (or lack thereof) at the box office. What reveals itself is a portrait of a tenacious artist whose ambition has pulled him through some tough times.

“It’s often when I’ve finished a film that I realize what it’s really about. I prefer to work in small steps, and then, when the film is finished, you step back and realize—ah, that’s what the film was about. I like to let myself be surprised by my own films.” BERTRAND BONELLO

As Bonello looks back on his own work, he hones in on moments that still surprise him, as well as those that reflected his state of mind at the time of directing. His yearning for the innocence of his early work then seems to inspire his thoughts about projects to come. The films he has made since this short — Nocturama, Coma, The Beast, among others — reflect his commitment to continue directing free-spirited and provocative films.

Bertrand Bonello is a French director, screenwriter, producer, and composer. His films regularly premiere at the Cannes Film Festival and have been the subject of retrospectives at Film at Lincoln Center, Arsenal and Centre Pompidou. Bonello’s most recent films have seen him probe the political and technological complexities of our time.

Text written by Nicolas Pedrero-Setzer. Special thanks to Bertrand Bonello and Centre Pompidou.